Sleep trained 16 month old but still not perfect, what am I missing?

Great Question:
Stephanie Nielsen asked:
“Hi Tracy, I have a quick question! I have done sleep training with my 16 month old son since he was around 5 months old and he’s doing great. However, two weeks ago I had the flu and didn’t see him in the day like normal so he wouldn’t go to bed that night. Since then, he has been staying up until 10-11:30 at night and wanting to sleep in until 9 or later if I let him. His naps have stayed completely intact.
His usual schedule is:
– wake-up 8 and 8:30
– Nap 12:30 (for 2-3 hours) (I lay him in his bed and walk out right away and he goes to sleep on his own with no crying)
– bedtime 8:15-8:30 with a routine.
He doesn’t have any sleep crutches that I am aware of at bedtime and I don’t think anything has changed to cause a difference in his bedtime. But he is wired and will not go to sleep. My only thought is maybe the gap between bedtime and nap time is too big? I have been waking him up at 8:30am to help get things back on track but its not working. I also tried putting him to bed at 9 one night to slowly move it bedtime back and he woke up at 10 and stayed up until 2am. I think I am missing something! Thanks!”
My Answer:
You nailed it. It looks like the wakeful window between the end of the nap and the bedtime is too long. Typically it’s just 4 hours. Can you push the nap later so you have a 4 hour window at the end of the day? This will change again around 2 years old. Having a consistent wake up time is a good idea to get things on track. Consistency is key here. When he wakes an hour or so (or less) after being put to bed, he probably was overtired and that makes the first sleep transition harder. So if he has trouble going back to sleep, be consistent about treating it like a middle of the night wake up. Does that help?
If you have a quick questions, post it here and I will do my best to answer it. If this or another question helped you, please like it or post your thanks to the ask-er for putting it out there!
Women need the support of other women and we all need sleep.

Early Rising – Please Help my 10 month old

Early Rising Question:
Our biggest issue is the early rising. He’s up at 4:30am no matter what we do. We’ve tried putting him to bed earlier/later done dream feeds, cry it out.. He’s just an insanely early riser. He’s 10.5 months and usually naps 2 times, the first one can range from and hour to 2 hours and the second is usually about an hour.. I can never get him to take a third.. He’s a little monkey!!
Answer:
It’s not the 3rd nap you need. It’s a longer 2nd nap. Most babies over nine months have dropped the third nap and can go four hours from the end of the p.m. nap to bed time. Try limiting your morning up to one hour, so yes, wake him up. Then try to extend the afternoon nap to an hour and a half or longer. That way you can try to get that four hour or less wakeful window at the end of the day. That will probably fix your problem if you were consistent about how you respond to the early rising.
Post a quick question https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights or call me for a free 15 call 602-524-7610. Maybe a consult is what you need. https://getquietnights.com/schedule-a-consultation/

How much sleep does my baby need?

Tracy talk to Merci Gilbert groupI speak to the Breast Feeding support groups at Mercy Gilbert Hospital and Chandler Regional Hospital every couple of months. I love talking to these mom’s and dispelling the myths about sleep coaching and nursing.  A common question I get asked is how much sleep should my baby get?  Well it varies by age and from Child to Child.  I put together a fridge magnet to share to give them a starting guideline but it’s more about watching for sleep cues, getting enough sleep cycles in a day for your baby’s age and needs.  It’s probably more than you think.  A typical 6 month old can have 3 naps a day and then sleep 12 hours at night. That would be very healthy and normal.  By 9 months the 3rd nap gets dropped and the baby can go a longer wakeful window at the end of the day. (But not likely longer than 4 hours.) Around 18 months, your baby will be ready to transition to 1 nap.  The afternoon nap is typically the one that stays and the 4 hour window at the end of the day stays.  It’s the wakeful time before that gets longer.  Nap transitions don’t usually happen quickly.  That last nap can stick around until age 3-5. Every baby is different.  I hope this helps.  Call me if you want personal assistance or you would like me to come speak to your group or do a workshop. www.GetQuietNights.com  Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

What I wish they had told me…Or at least wish that I had been willling to Listen

I have 5 children and I am a sleep coach. People always ask me if I used my methods on my own children and I laugh and say “no”.  I didn’t know any better than the mom’s I talk to now.  I wish I had a sleep coach when my children were babies and I did so many things “wrong” but they still turned out pretty great.  It could have been so much easier but I certainly wouldn’t have the the helpful insight I have when talking to sleep deprived moms.  The things I wished I had known most were mostly what was realistic.  Babies can sleep long stretches at night usually after 6 months and night nursing’s are the first (not the last) ones you start to wean.  Not necessarily all of the night feedings but some of them.  I didn’t know that.  My doctor had said that at 3 months, my baby should be able to go all night but that didn’t sit right with me.  It still wouldn’t.  But I took it too far.  But you know, I handled it ok (other than some depression from lack of sleep)  I think that anything you really don’t have a problem with is not a problem.  In hindsight I wish I had done it differently but c’est la vie.  So here I’m telling you.  When your waking child seems to be waking too much, look at the longest they have ever gone and start there. Starting some gentle and responsive sleep coaching after 6 months is ideal but you can wait until you are both ready, whenever that is.  Try to get the best naps you can, anyway you can while you work on night skills.  Day sleep is the building block of night sleep skills.  Night sleep skills is the building block of Day sleep skills.  So nights first and then naps or do both together.  Every child is different so don’t compare your child to others. Your child is wonderful and unique and I’ll bet you are doing a great job!  www.GetQuietNights.com

Sleeping with Mom? Love it or Hate it?

I’m working with families of a 5 year old and a 6 month old. Two very different scenarios but both children have learn cause and effect and know what cry or smile or behavior gets them what they want. To sleep with Mom! The solution? Decide what’s best and that’s what they get. The method? Gentle Behavioral Modification Coaching.  This is very flexible and varies with each family.  I create a plan and we tweak it as needed.I can help you with that.  You can choose to continue to co-sleep or we can work on getting baby (or child) out of your bed.  Either way, lets help your child develop good sleep habits.
Call me. Text Me. Email Me. Invite me to your Mom’s Club.
Tracy Spackman 602-524-7610
Tracy@GetQuietNights.com

www.GetQuietNights.com

Nap Transitions

Questions Asked:
My daughter Ayven is 17 months and has been a great sleeper thanks to you! We are now transitioning to 1 nap – any tips on the best way to do this and is there a best time for that once a day nap? Rises at 6:30 bed at 7pm used to nap 9-945 (we’d wake her) and then in the afternoon going down between 1:30 and 3 depending on our plans for the day and would usually nap 1.5-2 hours. Any tips would be appreciated!
My Answer:
The afternoon nap may lengthen. One way to transition is to drop the am nap and switch it to a cat nap (20-30 min). 1 pm may be a good time for your afternoon nap. The transition period can be long and there are a few ways to do it but this is my favorite one to try first.
If you need sleep help, I do personal consultations.
Tracy Spackman 602-524-7610
Tracy@GetQuietNights.com
www.GetQuietNights.com

"My 2 year old was a great sleeper and now for the past 2 weeks has been having sleep issues. Why?"

Great Question from my Mom’s club talk:
“My 2 year old was a great sleeper and now for the past 2 weeks has been having sleep issues. Why?”
This is a common question. Sometimes, you just get a string of bad luck when you have even just 2 nights in a row of disrupted sleep, from maybe a cold or thunderstorms or summer guests and your response of bringing to bed with your of staying with them while they fall asleep is enough to create a new “conditioned response”. If toddlers, or older children have 2 or more disrupted nights in a row, they may start getting anxious about sleep. After 2 weeks has gone by, you may have forgotten the cause of the sleep stress. A manners chart to help focus on good sleep habits may help a lot. If you need sleep help, call me, Text me.
Tracy Spackman 602-524-7610
Tracy@GetQuietNights.com
www.GetQuietNights.com

Back to School Bedtimes

Have your kids gone back to school? Planning to go soon? Take a good look at their bedtime. Do you know if your child is a 10, 11 or 12 hour sleeper for optimum benefit? If your child has a meltdown about having to write a few sentences about their summer for homework, chances are they are not getting enough sleep. Thinking of ideas to write about when writing is still a challenge for kindergarten-3rd grade kids, getting enough sleep can make all the difference. 11 hours is a common amount of sleep to need for young school aged kids. Teens typically need 9 hours. If you need sleep help, check out my website.
www.GetQuietNights.com

Not ready to commit to a plan or a sleep package?

Get a group together and we can do a group workshop. Minimum 5 people/couples. This would be different than the free talk I give to Mom’s groups. We will talk specifics and methods that you can implement immediately. If you have 5 or more people, the host gets to come free. $50 per family. Runs about 2 hours. Follow up support is available a la crate.
Workshop fee will be deducted from full package price if you choose to get a personal consultation afterwards.
A good sleep makes a world of difference.
Tracy Spackman
www.GetQuietNights.com