There seems to be a lot of pressure on moms to have a quiet, sleeping through the night baby at a very young age. But in fact this is just not normal. It’s not about weight, or even weeks, it’s about developmental readiness and temperament.
In and around the 4th month of age there is a lot of cognitive development. Some babies may be ready as early as 18 weeks and others need more time to grow and bond. Follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your baby. Bond, nurse, co-sleep, wear, whatever feels safe and right. It doesn’t matter what culture, neighbors, sisters or mothers in law say about it.
The range of what a baby can do it very broad. Some babies are naturally good sleepers. Others have a difficult time shutting down their minds to sleep. Talk to your doctor and still listen to your intuition. When he says babies wake a lot at night, he’s right. And some babies wake more than others. If you are sleep deprived and going crazy, try motion naps in the stroller, swing or carrier and part of the nights in a swing laid all the way back. Does co-sleeping work for you? Would room sharing help? Be responsive.

Many mom’s get repeated advice to just do Cry It Out.  There are many articles and posts about the negative effects of Cry It Out.  If that’s just not for you, rest assured,
you have other options.  The No Cry Sleep Solution is a long, slow drawn out, baby step plan that works for many families.  But for some families it’s too long.  The Good Night Sleep Tight book by Kim West is great if you have an older baby.  For younger babies, it’s too visually stimulating and not responsive enough.  There are methods of camping out where you sleep in your baby’s room. Methods of touching and shushing.  Methods of Picking up and putting down.  So many methods.  What is right for you?

I have found that there IS perfect combo of methods that works quickly and easily but definitely takes more effort than Cry It Out.  Where is this book?  It’s not written. It’s a combo made specifically for you child’s temperament and age.  You get that from a gentle sleep coach. That’s the advantage of a sleep coach, she will tell you what to do, work with you to find the fastest and most gentle approach, tailored for your child’s needs and his parents goals.
If you are at your wits end and just need a plan, I can help. I may just help you have reasonable expectations or there maybe a few things you can do to help your baby sleep longer stretches until your baby is ready to do more. But if you are fine, keep doing what you are doing. If you don’t have a problem with the waking, it’s not a problem. I can’t believe how fast they grow. Get past the 4 month vision changes and brain development and then see how you are doing. It’s so fun when baby can see you from further away. The increased perceptiveness is exciting for your baby and very distracting. So much of the world to see. Get to at least 18 weeks and re-evaluate. If you can hold off until 6 months, even better but I understand if you can’t get that far.
If you wonder if you have realistic expectations, I can talk to you about that for free. I speak on that subject regularly at the local moms groups, hospitals and baby stores and on Facebook groups. Let me give you some coping strategies.
Take a few minutes of my time for free. 602-524-7610. Call, text or message me to set up a free 5-15 minute call. I’m here to help. If you know you are ready to make major changes and just want someone to give you step by step instructions that fit with your family goals, book a consultation and we will get you all sleeping in no time.
Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com
https://www.facebook.com/QuietNights

This is a common question:

Is your baby waking at night because they are hungry? 

That’s the first question.  The second question is, Does your baby need to eat at night?
If your baby is under 6 months old, the answer is PROBABLY! Like the baby in this picture, she needs to eat at night.
If your baby is under 9 months, you should discuss this with your doctor and  your lactation consultant.  Many babies are ready to go all night without eating by 7 months old but each baby is unique and eating is more important than sleeping.  Many mom’s choose to do a night feeding past 12 months.  That is just fine.
If you have determined that your baby does not need to eat at night and he is eating out of habit, and you choose to make a change, then you can take gentle steps to wean your baby from night feeding.  
There are 3 common ways to go about night weaning.  One of them is to go cold turkey and just stop feeding them.  This is not my favorite way but it depends on the age of the baby. When you stop feeding at night cold turkey, your baby will still feel hungry.  And he will need extra attention and support as his body gets used to not getting those calories at that time.
Have you ever gone on a diet or changed your own eating patterns?  Let me tell you my potato chip story:  A few years ago, my husband and I would have all 5 of our children in bed by 7 pm. (Sounds heavenly, right? It is!) We would sit down to watch a show we had recorded on the DVR and relax together.  After the show, we would pull out a bag of potato chips (salt n vinegar is our favorite) and eat the whole bag together while we watched another show. (sometimes it was plain ripple chips with homemade sour cream onion dip.)  Well of course, after a few months of doing this stay home daily mini-date, we started to regret the potato chip fat factor.  So we decided to stop.  We heard somewhere that you shouldn’t eat after 8pm or something like that.  We stopped cold turkey.  The craving for the potato chips at 9pm was unreal!!  I wanted to get in the car and drive to the store to get some, I craved them so bad.  Ugh.  It was awful.  Was that my body telling me that I needed potato chips?  Should I be listening to my body cravings?  No.  My body doesn’t need potato chips. What was happening to us is called a blood sugar spike.  My body was used to getting those calories at that time regularly.  It takes about 3 days to undo a blood sugar spike like that.  And after 3 days of no potato chips at 9pm, I stopped craving them at 9pm.  I never crave them when I’m shopping in the store so I just stopped buying them unless we are having a party.
So if you go cold turkey in taking milk out of your child’s night time responses, it takes about 3 days for their blood sugar spike to smooth out. Please be more responsive and attentive if you choose this method.  They are experiencing real feelings of hunger that are uncomfortable.  I know.  I have been there.  A hug, snuggle, your presence, your attention can help support them through the transition. Come when they call for you.
The other ways to wean night feedings are with dream feeds (my favorite method) or with gradual diluting.  Those are a whole other subject for blog posts or consultations.
Every baby’s scenario is different and there are no cookie-cutter solutions.  Age, temperament, past sleep experience and bedtime crutches make a difference.  
As a gentle sleep coach, I look at the situation and create a plan unique to that family. Call me if you need help.  Free 15 min initial evaluation.
Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
602-524-7610
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A Wake up Light is a special light or device to help your child know when it’s “ok” to get out of bed in the morning. 
Toddler’s don’t tell time but they do understand “lights on” or “lights off”.  Lights on means it time to be awake.  Lights off means it’s time to sleep.
You want a wake up light that is dark at night, not glowing. It’s better to sleep in the dark if you can. Many wake up lights you purchase at the store have night lights on them that glow all night so I choose to make one myself.
You can make one yourself, too. You probably have everything you need already in your home. Use any small lamp that you have.  A pretty Mayan salt lamp or a cute Disney lamp or an old ugly, stored in the garage meant for the next garage sale lamp.  It’s even fun to use a small green bulb (found in the outdoor Christmas lights section of your hardware store or in your storage Christmas lights box) or a chandelier light bulb. If the base of the bulb is too small for your lamp, you can get an adapter piece (also found at the hardware store -guys already know this) that screws into the lamp that changes the base size.

Plug the lamp in to the wall through an appliance timer (also found in your storage Christmas stuff, or the hardware store or in the hardware aisle of the grocery story $3).  This is like the one you would use for your outdoor Christmas lights.  Set it to go on at the wake up time like 6am or 7am.  Everything you need you may have at home already or can be found for low cost at your local home hardware store. If you can use a green bulb, you can teach your child that green means go! Talk about the light at bedtime and again in the morning to reinforce what you expect.  “When the light is dark, it’s time to sleep.  When the light is on, it’s time to wake up.”  The light shouldn’t be bright enough to wake her up but it will be a signal that sends a clear message for when she does wake up.  If she wakes before the light come’s on, and she can’t get back to sleep, stay with her until it comes on to reinforce the meaning of the light.
Tracy Spackman
Certified Gentle Sleep Coach
Helping children sleep better one family at a time.
602-524-7610
www.GetQuietNights.com

Parents get crazy advice. Have you ever been told that “Some babies just don’t sleep“?
That’s so crazy! Babies desperately need sleep and may need special help learning sleep skills. I helped a family of 6 kids not sleeping and their doctor told their mom that her kids just don’t sleep. –As if it was natural and normal!  I had her kids sleeping in about 6 weeks.
Have you ever been told “Your baby is playing you.”?  “So let him cry it out.”
Manipulation is far too complex an emotion for a baby. (That’s more of a teenager thing.)
It’s just ’cause and effect’. Your baby has figured out that when he does this, you do that. So gently change your response and they will change their behavior.  If your baby cries that way and you come running, they have learned to cry that way to get you to come running.  It’s not a bad thing at all.  At night, starting with bedtime, gently change how you respond depending on the situation to get a different behavior from your child.
It’s not rocket science. It’s behavioral science.  It’s always great to be there for your child but you don’t have to give them everything they want.
My kids want chocolate for breakfast. Yeah, I don’t think so.  But I am definitely going to be giving them breakfast, just not the one they think they want.  Except maybe on their birthday.